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Jeffrey B Trollinger's avatar

I've read this three times now and the two things that keep coming back are that one, my circles are often incongruous and two, we are now at a point where we need to make some new circles. So, let me explain, as a gay Catholic, two of my circles often looked at each other with suspicion and sometimes distaste. I have often been asked by both why I associate or how I could be part of the other. I'd like to believe that by staying true to both, I taught each a little about the other. Work has always been the same. I've never stayed in my division or my section, I've always believed that the most important circle was the entire Agency working together. Sometimes our little circles just get in the way.

The second part is just part of life. We moved. When you move your circles often don't move with you. We have been searching for a new Catholic church that was as welcoming as the one we left. THAT IS A TALL ORDER and probably not realistic. In addition, all of our friends are no longer close by, so we are creating new circles, new neighbors, new hangouts, new schedules, new ways of staying connected to our existing circles. I think this part is going to take some time before the circles all settle into place....right now its a bit like a large number of spinning plates on sticks...where will they all settle in and which ones will break in the process??

I'd like to believe that we have the ability to remember who we are without having to create or confront a common enemy, but that isn't really the history of America is it? We seem to always be at our best when we have someone "outside" that we all agree is "bad." When that has to be artificially created by someone (immigrants, Jews, LGBT, "those people", etc.) it creates an environment where we turn on ourselves more than face the imitation enemy. As a country, as a people, we are a bunch of spinning plates...do we spin together or do we come crashing down?

I do believe that we all have a part to play in bringing all the plates together. While I think there is a place for peaceful protest and pointing out the hypocrisy and dishonesty, we need to remember that we are all in this together and learn to listen to each other. There is a place for the silence and understanding. Don't confuse this with agreement, but if all we do is shout at each other, there is no space to create a circle. That's part of the challenge now, finding ways to create circles of understanding.

So we have to stand in the friendly circles we have, find support in those circles. Gather the hugs and gather our strength. The work ahead requires us to look outside our circles, and it requires a lot of energy to be patient and listen without judgement and without joining the yelling, no matter how badly we want to yell back.

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